How to be a grown up?

The answer is — Manage your mind.

Direct your thoughts. (Focused distractions)

We know, we can’t control our mind. When it is unoccupied, the mind has to think of something, analyse something or dream on something. It cant just stop the chatter.
We listen/read a lot on — controlling mind, meditation, mindfulness, being present, etc etc…but we wonder — why only I couldn’t be present — why my mind wanders too much uncontrollably — Why couldn’t we come out of our thoughts. Some of us, our imaginations are vivid and very interesting and the real world is very boring — So the mind creates interesting world inside it — Coming back to the present seems very hard.

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It is just that, we have to accept the fact that some of our minds are deep and vivid. It is created that way and we can’t do anything about it. So what can we do?

We have 2 choices:

1. We can be a kid and go along with our mind.
2. We can direct our mind, like an adult directing a teenager (not control). Guide it on what to imagine what to analyse what to think (or what to overthink)

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Thought addiction — addiction to overthinking or overanalysing and inability to come out of the same thought — We all know any form of addiction is harm for out life. But how to control going into addictive mode?
If you force yourself to redirect your mind, It will not listen — Our mind is like a teenager. All we have to do is create an environment where the mind could be directed to some other thought in a flow state. (We can’t manage our mind by focusing on managing our mind)

How to create that environment? Have at least 5 things in to-do list daily (in addition to your daily routine works) — allocate time to create this list. You don’t have to do it perfectly — but do alteast 1 thing — always remember you are doing it just to keep your self directed /occupied — you are being an adult (The adult within you taking the control, where the other option is -leaving it to the teenager within you) — that’s all. Having goals/ small goals is a good way to lead our life (in any direction) — but don’t attach the end point of the goal, with the feeling of self worth — remember you are always enough as you are now (and always remember forcing anything on you will hardly workout. We have to handle our mind like handling a teenager. We have to sit with them patiently until they are ready to do anything we wish — writing your thought — inner war — on a paper will immensely help to understand that teenager’s thought and point of view — which you are criticizing until now)

So what to add in our to-do list? Choose some goals/small goals and create a plan to execute it. lets look into some ideas

• Learn something — start a new course: We have to give some food to our deep mind to think of. So learning something new is a best way. There is catch here too. Don’t try to learn something so hard or something so easy. Learn something interesting/ challenging.
• Help somebody (Do charity): Not a one time thing — but on a daily basis or weekly basis — continuously at least for a 4 months. There is a catch — have the understanding that you are doing something to someone is not going to change their world for them — their thoughts and behavioural pattern only can do that for them.
• Start a movie marathon: Select a list of movies. Watch 1 movie a day for a month. Some movies make you think — help you to view your current situation in a different perspective.
• Create blog/ vlog: (On anything.) They always help one to think in productive way.
• Listen to ebook: You don’t need to grab the content of the book completely. But listen when you are doing your routine works that doesn’t employ your mind.
• Start a business: This will definitely occupy our mind, if we have interest in whatever the area we start a business in.
• Read a new book: Than listening to an ebook in some other’s voice, reading paperback will give some involvement with the book.
• Listen to TED talks: Unlike ebook, TED talks are very short and full of content within that 10 or 15 min. It will grab and hold your attention for that shorter period.
• Learn a new language: Sometimes if we know that other language our colleague or neighbour talks, we can communicate with them with ease. If we understand the language of those movies or series, we don’t need to pause it all the time to read the missed caption. And sometimes we would like that idea. So why not learning a new language
• Practice solving Rubik’s cube: You can carry this everywhere and play from anywhere. This will keep your mind so occupied.
• Solve a 1000+ piece puzzle: (Thoughts on my mind while I fix a 1000 piece puzzle: The Universe is like a puzzle — we may think , we don’t fit anywhere — but one day, we’ll be there — there is a place for us. At the beginning I was clueless how to fix it — But after I started with some pieces, then it went on on a flow , I dint even need to think. It just happened — fixed some peaces here and there — then every little part added up. Starting it will be hard and very boring — but when some peaces are fixed, it will get interesting and addictive . Needed pieces will start to show up by itself . The important fact is, we should not be searching that missing peace — focus on fixing small areas here and there — that missing peace will show up by itself)
• Practice public speaking: You can join clubs like Toastmaster Club to practice.
• Play sudoku: This will keep you so occupied when you have random free times. You can find sudoku apps in phone or print them and carry with you.
• Start teaching something: You know you are already good at something in some level. Teach that something to people who are interested.
• Practice a new routine/ Add new activity to your routine work:
• Learn an art/ go to yoga sessions
• Go to some new place and observe the place: Do in frequently and continuously for a time period
• Meet various kind of new people and talk to people you already know:
• Start watching a Netflix series: This is an eazy way to occupy your mind for sometime.
• Try sitting with light music solely in the morning for a 10 min, observing the surroundings (meditation): Just sit for 10 min and observe the surrounding every morning. If not 10 min, do it for 5 min. This will immensely help us in the long run.

What is happiness? — ( Is it feeling ecstacy? — No that is extreme happiness — ) happiness is being calm and being focused and occupied with some interesting work — how to find an interesting work (or how to find interest in a particular work)? — find a work that is neither hard nor easy and visualise/ imaging every step of the work and create curiosity before even doing the work — How to find a ‘neither hard nor easy’ work? — Make a plan and tryout 10 things. You’ll find at lease one — Then do that 1 thing + try 10 new things…Continue it.

Alan watts on ‘Control’ — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kfe9nJUP2E

(We can’t control mind — We just need to understand our thoughts — Why our thoughts are that way, why are we trying to control it, what is wrong with the thoughts, or the wrong action is-we trying to control it — that understanding will lead us to some other path)